Sick, Sad, Sacrifice

I have been sick on and off for the month of February and into March. Having Finished a Z-pack on Monday, I was surprised to feel my throat getting sore on Tuesday night. I made it into work on Wednesday and left by 2:00. I had had enough. My sore throat had gotten worse and I felt like I had a fever. Once home, I crashed in the bed and did not move. I did have a fever of 101.8 and could not be around Jonah. It was not until tonight (Friday) that I had enough energy to put on a mask and be around my family.

I have not been this sick in a long while. I have strep throat. It is horrible and has knocked me out for the past three days. Even Kris mentioned that I must be feeling bad if I did not have my laptop open for work to check email throughout the day. This is one of the hardest things I have had to get through as a parent in a while. I was contagious and was told by my doctor to go into hiding until I had enough antibiotics in my system. I would not allow myself on the same floor of my house with my family. Every morning, Kris took care of Jonah. Every evening, Kris took care of Jonah. I missed out on laughs and valuable playtime, hugs and smiles. I would sit downstairs with the TV on mute, just so that I could hear the laughing and pitter patter of Jonah moving around upstairs. I was brought to tears yesterday from the pain in my throat and the connection I was missing with my son.

The hardest decisions are made for your children. I don't know what I would do, if I gave Jonah this terrible illness. It has been extremely hard for me to sit still as a mother. So I tried my hardest to get as much rest as possible today in order to be with Jonah tonight (with mask on). I am still not able to kiss him, but just having him close by is enough.

To my wonderful husband, Thank you!! Through the pain in my throat and the loneliness of being contagious, my heart was warmed by the laughter and love I heard while you were taking care of Jonah. I have been given the time to heal. You are an amazing Dad and Husband, Thank You!!