Last night I laid in bed, cried and prayed. Yesterday was a rough day for Jonah and I. He seemed to be fussy all day long. He was fussy during his bottles, after his bottles and in the middle of his naps. It seemed that no matter what I did, there was nothing that would soothe him and he was unable to soothe his self. I laid in bed last night saddened by my reactions and lack of patience at times. I love my son unconditionally and never gave up on him. But for some reason, I was unable to be his hero. For some reason, I was unable to bring him peace at times when his world was chaotic, painful from gas or something else I was unaware of. I love my son, and yesterday that wasn't enough. I sat in bed and looked at Jonah sleeping peacefully. I am thankful for the miracle Kris and I created and the blessings Jonah provides us everyday. I fell in love with our little boy even more watching him sleep after a stressful day like yesterday.
I prayed last night for the lord to grant Jonah and me peace during the hard times. I asked for clarity in order to determine the problem when he is upset in order to come to his rescue. I prayed that Jonah knows his mother and father love him soooooooooo much our hearts are full to capacity. I asked for forgiveness and prayed for me to wake up today with confidence that I am a good mother. I asked the lord to pick me back up. I looked forward to today and the time I would be able to spend with my son. I couldn't wait to come to his rescue, be his hero and tell him that I love him.
The morning came with no interruptions of sleep. That's right, Jonah slept from 12:00 till 6:00 this morning. I was surprised when he woke me up and I looked at the clock. I bounced out of bed with a new sense of energy and "I love you" were the first words out of my mouth. We had a great feeding session and then went back to bed for another 3 hours. After our 9:00 bottle, Jonah, Tanner and myself enjoyed a long walk in the neighborhood. The weather was perfect.
My prayers were heard last night and I feel better today. I think Jonah enjoys things when they are done at a slower pace. I have slowed down today and allowed him time to process everything going on around him. This has helped with feeding because I am allowing more time for him to burp. Looking back at yesterday, I think gas had a lot to do with him reactions. I have processed yesterday's events, determined what I will do different and continue to tell myself "I know what's best for my son"
Even though yesterday was stressful, the one thing I will always remember is this was the first time Jonah slept through the night.
Yesterday can be summarized in one statement "Rough Days can Equal Rewarding Nights"
I prayed last night for the lord to grant Jonah and me peace during the hard times. I asked for clarity in order to determine the problem when he is upset in order to come to his rescue. I prayed that Jonah knows his mother and father love him soooooooooo much our hearts are full to capacity. I asked for forgiveness and prayed for me to wake up today with confidence that I am a good mother. I asked the lord to pick me back up. I looked forward to today and the time I would be able to spend with my son. I couldn't wait to come to his rescue, be his hero and tell him that I love him.
The morning came with no interruptions of sleep. That's right, Jonah slept from 12:00 till 6:00 this morning. I was surprised when he woke me up and I looked at the clock. I bounced out of bed with a new sense of energy and "I love you" were the first words out of my mouth. We had a great feeding session and then went back to bed for another 3 hours. After our 9:00 bottle, Jonah, Tanner and myself enjoyed a long walk in the neighborhood. The weather was perfect.
My prayers were heard last night and I feel better today. I think Jonah enjoys things when they are done at a slower pace. I have slowed down today and allowed him time to process everything going on around him. This has helped with feeding because I am allowing more time for him to burp. Looking back at yesterday, I think gas had a lot to do with him reactions. I have processed yesterday's events, determined what I will do different and continue to tell myself "I know what's best for my son"
Even though yesterday was stressful, the one thing I will always remember is this was the first time Jonah slept through the night.
Yesterday can be summarized in one statement "Rough Days can Equal Rewarding Nights"
1 comment:
ok, so i love that picture. i see so much of you in him - and then i see kris's chinny chin chin. precious little jonah. i can't wait to meet him one day. ...on hard days. oh kel. i remember around 6 weeks old, one day, when loralai did the same thing. todd came home and i laid on the floor next to loralai, while she played with todd, andi just cried. i was whooped. i was so broken up b/c i couldn't soothe her. and i felt so guilty b/c as much as i adored her and wanted to soothe her, i was also ticked and wanted to pull my hair out - which was so frustrating b/c i felt guilty for feeling like that. so i hear ya. and i'm glad that your night went so well. just know that with each week, jonah's little nervous system will mature, and so will his pooting and burping abilities. oh you just wait - he's gonna make kris proud! (the poots those babies can make!) ...you're such a sweet mama with a heart of gold. that jonah is one blessed little babe. xoxo
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