48 hours later...

Today has been a day that can be described as an emotional roller coaster. Since Jonah was born, the doctors let us know that the first 48 hours will have it's ups and downs. Kris woke up this morning and reminded me that our boy was over 48 hours old. He had ended the night putting up a fight when receiving medication and working himself hard in the process. Never the less we woke up and received a visit from the Neonatal doctor who is taking care of Jonah. It was 8:00 and she had already had a busy morning. Unfortunately, Jonah had not showed any change for the better and she had made the decision to put him on a ventilator. Jonah has a fighting, strong personality and would have continued to fight through the infection. However, it was time for him to receive some help.

After the morning assessment from the doctor there were many observations she communicated to us as a precaution. She mentioned the ventilator he was placed on here at Rex may not be able to keep up with Jonah compared to what he was going through yesterday. If this was to occur he would have to be moved to another hospital and put on a different ventilator. There were other observations she mentioned to us. I appreciate the doctor taking care of Jonah because she presents all possibilities so there are no surprises. Like I said, she had a busy morning by 8:00.

When the meeting with the doctor was over, Kris and I took a moment to absorb the morning update, and prepared ourselves for a visit to the nursery. As a parent, it is hard for me to think about our baby being sedated and put on a ventilator. Once I was able to take a look at him it was amazing how peaceful he appeared. Our boy was taking over 150 breathes per minute when a normal person will take 40 breathes in a minute. This caused him to work all day and present in a state of stress. I was comforted by the state of peace our little boy has been in all day. Since this morning Jonah has gone from being 100% dependant on Oxygen and is now 75% dependant. As mentioned before, he was taking over 140 breathes per minute and this afternoon he is taking just over 40 breathes per minute. He has had a dramatic improvement throughout the day, and will remain on the ventilator until the infection in his lungs is able to clear up.

My friend Ashley wrote not too long ago about having to let go as a parent. Most parents experience this later in their child's life. The parent must let go of there child in order for him or her to take a first step, get on the school bus for the first day of school or go to college. I was not expecting to have to let go so early. Since the day Jonah was born, Kris and I had to let go as the care provider for our son and allow the doctor's and nurses to care for him. We both understand they are the experts, but this does not make it easier to become the passenger instead of sitting in the drivers seat. We have had to let go of providing nourishment to our son and allow the IV medications provide him with everything he needs. Kris and I have realized that to be good passengers during times like these we must turn to our faith. This means we have had to let go and give the wheel to the Lord. I find myself praying a lot over the past couple of days. There are times that I can not be with my son to let him know it is going to be ok, watch over him, protect him. We let go at these times and give these tasks to the lord.

I am thankful for my faith and lean on this more than ever. Jonah has had a good day of peace and relaxation. This help will provide him with the energy needed to continue fighting the infection. It is time for our evening visit to say good night.